Ain't it the truth

1 The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow
2 Money will buy a fine dog but only kindness will make him wag his tail
3 If you dont have a sense of humor you probably dont have any sense at all
4 Seat belts are not confining as wheelchairs
5 A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water
6 How come it takes so little time for child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
7 Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without
8 Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?
9 Scratch a dog you'll find a permanent job
10 No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car
11 There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity
12 There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 a.m. it could be the right number
13 Think about this, no one ever says "its only a game" when his team in winning
14 I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap
15 Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it
16 The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket
17 Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have millions of old ladies running around with tattoos? And rap music will be the Golden Oldies
18 Money can't buy happiness, but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a corvette than a yugo.
19 After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead