mixed emotions

Grief, pain, happiness
What is my mind trying to tell me?
Hurt, excitement, fear
What is my heart trying to employ?
Time is short, yet time has only begun
Ahead of me a web is being spun
Will doubt, and uncertain events be woven in thread by thread?
If I stay strong peace, comfort, and direction will be bound up
With the flip of a coin my direction can change
But I cannot follow heads and tails
My sights are set, my aim is honest
Now the real test: can I fire through my mixed emotions?

this very night

On this night, this very night
A sign was given of the Father's love
On this night, this very night
A Lamb was born to defeat the Lion and redeem mankind
On this night, this very night
The sun may set, but the light will not cease
On this night, this very night
The Lamb satisfied the demands of justice
On this night, this very night
Mercy was gifted to us all
On this night, this very night
Belief is rekindled to knowledge of the solace the atonement grants
Trumpeting forth
On this night, this very night
That we know Jesus the Christ, the Lamb of God

alone i weep

Pushing the world away so I may search so deep
          Alone I weep
As numerous as the sand of the sea
My tear drops fall uncontrollably

Each drop reflects the pain; represents the strain
That I have bottled up inside until it burst
          Alone I weep
Pondering the past events, sorting for the joyful moments

Breathing deeply I wipe my eyes
Square my shoulders and let out a sigh
Telling myself that to bring relief
It is needed at times for me to escape
          Alone I weep

wish upon a star

A wish can be a fickle thing or the very aspect
That narrates a child's dream
A star is a gift from God for each to confide
Their deepest desires in a wishful manner
Bringing peace and hope to the world around them
Knowing if that they are faithful and true
Their wish just may be the one that comes true
Many lose their faith and so their star does not appear
Even so when the sun departs
The night is ruled by a dream lit sky
Reminding us all that to wish upon a star
Is not a foolish act
But brings those who are lost a sense of peace
And tugs at their heart to wish upon their star
And add to the beacon that calls
The world to wish upon a star

with you

When our eyes met that fateful night
As as I made my way across the room
I was wondering what I could do to show you
That I wanted my promise to be forever with you

Last night in the quiet when our day was through
I listened to you sleeping and stayed awake by you
Remembering all the feelings I had
A smile came across my face as I pictured you
Sitting by the window in the hall or
Laughing with the children at the little thing you saw
Softly I whispered, to not disturb your slumber,
That my promise was forever with you

Kneeling by your bedside, tears rolling off my cheeks
The time has come for us to part,
I continue to hold your hand as I did on that fateful night
To show you that my promise is forever with you

my older brother

I have a really neat family.  I hope I can be with my family forever. My whole family is neat,  but let me tell you about my older brother; especially the time when he got his mission call.  I guess we planned on his mission long before he could go.  In fact, our parents were planning that mission long before I was born.  Anyway, the family home evening we had just before he left was super special (even though my favorite one had to be the one we had the first night he was gone).  Before he left, though, we all talked about how we were going to be a part of his mission.  Some were concerned about converts and baptisms; others about the difficulties.  Lots of relatives were there and he knew he was going to the land of his ancestors.

He went before there was a language school and he was going to have to pick up the language and start from scratch.  He wasn't going to open the mission, but we knew that the others that had gone there before had really had a hard time.  When the time for him to go finally came, we were all gathered together and we sand a song--the kind of song that makes you happy and makes you cry at the same time.  It was neat with so many relatives.

He had prepared so long; we knew he would do well.  He did have some problems with companions that slept too much and other things, but he said it was because they didn't understand.  He worked hard.  He had baptisms, although I don't remember how many and I don't know names either.  He talked to people in shops, in their church meetings, in their homes, on the streets, and wherever he got the chance.  Most of the people didn't care.  Some of the people even got angry.  Some even tried to hurt him or make fun of him.  I wouldn't want anyone to call me names or spit on me.  Some of the people did listen and that made him so happy.  It made me happy too.

He did have some problems with the law.  The people that didn't like what he taught decided to try to get him to quit.  He got arrested.  They said he told people he was something he wasn't.  Anyway, there was a trial or something.  It didn't turn out the way I had thought it might, but he said it was okay.  i wasn't sure.  Anyway, after the trial they beat him until he was bleeding and they made fun of him, and then they took my older brother on a hill and crucified him.

He died for me and I just hope that when He comes again, I can sing for him like we did when he was born in Bethlehem so many years ago.

---Layne Thomas Rushforth---